Do You Smell It?

Do you smell it? Ask my family and even some of my coworkers and they will tell you I am the "Queen of Smelling Things." I have a very keen sense of smell, and at times this is a curse not a blessing. Today it is a blessing.........today it smells like Fall!!!! It is crisp and cool (59 degrees on my back porch when I got up). It smells clean and fresh.......... and even the way the light filters through the trees makes me know that this long awaited season is well on it's way. I love Fall!!! The cooler mornings, the light wind, the leaves changing, football.....heavens! it's just about perfect. I always stand amazed at the wonders and delights that our God has for us if we but look up and out. I am just as amazed and awed that He loves me!! Me who can be just as mean as a snake.....me who snaps at her husband for asking just one more question.......me who yells at my daughter ......me who spends too little time on her knees and in His Word and too much time in front of the idol known as a Sony Bravia 46 inch ........me who is lazy, and grouchy, and self righteous, and judgemental!!! He loves me even in all this. But.....He loves me too much to let me stay that way. Just as I can smell the scent of Fall wherever I go today, we are to be the fragrance of Christ wherever we are. I pray that God uses me today to be the aroma of Him. I pray that He does the same thing in you. Have a great day in Him! But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of him everywhere. 2 cor.2:14

Dry Spell

It's the hot, just past the middle of August, days in Alabama. Times that I've heard referred to as the "Dog Days" of summer. While I don't really know what that means........I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the scorching sun and stifling air that we experience every year around this time. It is usually very, very dry. Gardens wither up to nothing....grass gets really crunchy......the ground actually gets cracks in the top layer of soil from the lack of rain. As dry as things are.....the humidity is awful. It can take hair that you've spent half an hour working on about thirty seconds to wilt before your very eyes. You can hardly get from the house to the car before you feel the sweat run down your back....It's just hot....and dry.....did I say that already?!? This summer we have had more rain than normal, which has kept things alittle greener than we've come to expect.....but the hot days are still here. While my physical self is ready for some refreshing......my spiritual self is in even worse shape. It is about as dry as a normal Alabama summer. How did this happen? Why did I let it happen? It's a "slow fade" for me..........it happens before I even realize I'm dried out. My quiet times with the Lord happen less and less until I can't remember when I actually had one. I'm throwing out emergency prayers to the Lord....like someone calling 911! It usually takes some major "knockdown" to make me realize the state of my sin sick heart. This time it came in the form of very hurtful words said by me to one of my children. Words that were used in a fit of anger.......words that resulted from a major pity party of which I was right smack dab in the middle of. There's an old saying that goes something like " one who is wrapped up in ones self, makes for a very small package!" I can attest to that. I was so wrapped up in myself that I was just swinging at random. Somewhat like a blindfolded child with a stick and a pinata. I may be the only one who does this but just in case I'm not.....don't you just love the moment when you realize what a fool you really are?!? You know that moment when you feel about as low as the belly of a snake! And then to top it off........because while you were behaving so poorly.....and while your words were mean and hateful.....those same words spoke things that you never intended. I hate it when that happens, don't you?!?! You are right in the middle of your tacky, little pity party, feeling so entitled to your little fit and wham!!! You slam someone else with your poorly chosen words and attitudes. You hurt someone else all the way to their core because of your selfishness. My nature is typically that of a "pleaser." I don't like not being liked or accepted. But, in this case.......my "pleaser" personality must have been taking a nap!! Knowing that I had upset my child bothered me immediately, but after finding how deeply my words really wounded this child........I was almost overcome with grief!! I said all of that to say this. Had my spiritual life not been in the state it was in, I honestly believe that my words and actions would have been a little kinder. The sad thing is, this precious daugher of mine, was trying to be the spiritual light I needed and I shot her down.....thinking,in my hateful state, that she was being just a bit too spiritual for me. I wanted someone to just roll in the mud with me....not point me in the right direction.....so what does that say about me? First and foremost, it says that I am a sinner in need of a Savior!!!! And second, it tells me that I need to make my walk with the Lord the top priority in my life. I am so thankful that He seeks me out and calls to me and NEVER gives up on me. He wants me to throw away my pride and my sense of entitlement and let Him be, not just my Savior, but my Lord!! Thank you my sweet Jessie, for forgiving me and loving me in spite of my ugliness. I love you so much and I am so proud of the woman you are. You will be such an asset to Luke in ministry. Always be true to the One who loves you even more than I do!!
I'm always your biggest fan! Mama

More Changes

The past couple of weeks have brought some changes to our lives here on our little hill in the woods. Good changes, but changes none the less. First change is: First born and son in law have interviewed and will possibly take a church at least a couple hours farther away than they are now. While I knew with them being in ministry, there would always be the possiblity that they would live far away......I don't think I really camped out on the idea. I just know that if this is God's will for them, He will make it okay for me and son in law's precious Mama. No two mama's have ever loved their children anymore than we do. Having them 12 hours away for the past five years has not been for the faint of heart. I think we've done pretty well in our adjustment, but there are still times when I just have to get my hands on that child for just a little while. I miss her more than words can say, but I know she is where she is supposed to be......and I have every confidence that the Lord will provide!! Second change is that baby girl is engaged!!! She went to the beach on Saturday with her sweet boyfriend and his family.......and he surprised her with a proposal (and might I say, I right nice piece of jewelry) beachside on Sunday afternoon. So, wedding planning is in our future around here. I know my sweet man is thanking God that he only has two daughters right now! Baby girl starts nursing school in two weeks, so it may get really interesting around here in the next 10 to 12 months. I am thankful for so many things in my life and one of them is being a mama to these two magnificent creatures. I do have to admit that on more than one occasion, I have tried to find out where a mother can go to resign from this "blessing" as I have been fairly certain that being a mother was going to kill me...literally!! I have experienced some dark days in these twenty eight years( with most of those being the wonderful "teenage years") and I have on occasion felt the same feeling that was expressed by the famous Bill Cosby when he spoke of the joys of parenthood...saying,"I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!!!!" More days than not, I am very glad I let them live!! It is wonderful to see your kids grown, happy, and making good choices. It has been a wild ride, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!! I love you Jessie and Jodi.............I'm looking forward to the days, weeks and months ahead with you girls!!!! I'm so proud of you...... and for you!!!xoxoxoxo Mama

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!!

Happy Birthday, my sweet Jessie. Twenty eight years ago we prepared for the greatest life change we would ever know. At the ripe old age of 21, I was sure I had this "mama" thing nailed down. I was well read in the baby care and "raising" department. I had at least one full semester of child growth and development under my belt..I had babysat a few times.....I was fairly certain that I was gonna be the poster child for motherhood. I did have a little fear of the pain involved......but I had that planned out as well. I knew about natural childbirth, but was pretty sure that this was for women who weren't as enlightened as I was.......and me being the brilliant nurse that I was and also being the biggest wimp I could think of.....I knew that the epidural would be my best friend!! My control freakish ways started very early in my life. Our plan had been to get through nursing school, get a job, pass my boards and get pregnant. We accomplished this right on schedule. We were so excited about having a baby. We got your room and little sweet, unisex, baby things together in the classic pale green and yellow colors. I washed and had all those little baby clothes smelling like Ivory Snow ,and looking so organized in your chest of drawers. We had the baby bed and cradle ready to lay our sweet bundle in. And then the literal bottom fell out. We found out that the house we were renting had been sold, and we had to find somewhere else to live. So.....the week prior to your arrival, we found another place to rent and we spent that week getting ready to move. The house we found was less than clean, to say the least...... and germaphobe that I am, we had to do some harddown cleaning. We also made one false hospital run during this week in the midst of all the other craziness. I was fairly certain that I was going to have my baby in the middle of highway 82 in the Sipsey swamp area. Had I known what I learned after 18 long hours of labor, I wouldn't have stressed so much about the Sipsey thing!! Thanks to some wonderful friends and family, we started the moving process the day before you were born. We were in the middle of moving loads of stuff when I decided that I was in labor. I know that your poor granny Gail would have probably liked to kill me off about that time. Picture this poor, pathetic humongous pregnant woman walking around doing little of nothing and bawling the whole day for no apparent reason......now picture that in the 100 degree heat that we enjoy in Alabama in July..........and we have a window unit air condtioner. Need I say that it was not a pretty sight. On the eve of your birth, your daddy and I loaded up and, with granny and aunt Tammy close behind, we headed to DCH. I wasn't in labor, but they decided to keep me overnight since we lived so far away. Finally about 5:00 the next morning, my contractions worsened and I was finally in true labor. It's funny now to look back about being so anxious to be in labor, and then hardly being able to wait to be finished with it. We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl.....and though I had always said I wanted boys ( I knew what teenage girls were like, and didn't think this was something I wanted to sign up for!) honestly, it didn't really matter to me.....I just wanted a baby. When you finally made your long anticipated arrival at 11:04 p.m. that Thursday night.........we were beyond thrilled!!! You were the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. Ten fingers, ten toes, wrinkled and pink, very little hair.......but oh my goodness....you rivaled any princess every born. The next morning after all the commotion had died down and there was nobody there but you, and daddy, and me.........we unwrapped you and checked you out. You were absolutely perfect!!!! Nine long months of hope and anticipation was beyond anything I can describe. This child that we wanted so much was finally here. On that day, you forever changed our world for the better. I had no idea that I could love anything or anyone so much. I loved watching you sleep, and hearing all those sweet little baby grunts and sighs. I even loved the way your eyes would scrunch up tight when you were crying. I loved your smell.....I would bury my nose up in your little neck and just breath in your sweet scent. My poor attempt to describe to you just what you meant to us 28 years ago, and now 28 years later is very inadequate. You have been such a delight to us. Your passion for life and compassion for others certainly make a mama proud. You have always been wise beyond your years, understanding things that you really shouldn't have been able to understand. You are truly a magnificent creature.......God did really good when He formed you in the secret place. You are beautiful and smart and so much fun!! On this, your 28th birthday, I wish you every happiness in the world!!! Enjoy your special day......you are very much loved!!!!XOXOXOXOX Mama

Changes

Don't you just love how God works? I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer and God's omnipotence. But.....it never ceases to amaze me when He answers my prayers. I don't do too well at "making a long story short".....so bear with me. Some twenty five years ago, Tony and I joined a little church in the community where we still live. This church was such a delight for us. We had spent several years prior to joining this church in what can only be described as living in rebellion. As teenagers, we had both made professions of our faith in Jesus. But neither of us had ever made Him the Lord of our life. We had several years of living very much outside the will of God.........but as He lets us make our choices, He also lets us have consequences of those choices........and in our case that almost cost us our marriage. As God would have it, we bowed the knee and turned back to Him. In what can only be attributed as a miracle from God......He healed a broken and bruised marriage and turned it into something that has withstood the past twenty five years pretty well!!!
When God healed our marriage, we realized that we needed to be in church with the precious 3 year old daughter that He had blessed us with. We did some church visiting before we found our "home" at Hebron Baptist Church. This was a small country church with a small membership and alot of the members were related either by blood or marriage.....but these precious folks took us in and loved us like their very own. We had alot of fun, fellowship and spiritual growth during those years. Being a small church has so many advantages, but one disadvantage is sometimes not having many children....... and while this is not an issue with younger children, it can get to be an issue when you have "youth" age children. When our youngest was beginning the "youth" years, we didn't have any other kids her age at church. Our kids had participated in youth activities at the church in town for some years, but as our oldest was ready for college and the youngest was only thirteen, this was a problem. I have always felt that kids need a good youth group, and while our small church provided for that when our eldest was a "youth", we just didn't have the kids when baby girl got there. I also believe that families need to worship together. Taking all these things into consideration.....we started praying about what to do. We felt that God was directing us to go to the church in town where baby girl would have a youth group. Just let me say that leaving this "family" at Hebron was the hardest thing that we had ever done. We had been there for fifteen years, we had seen both our girls pass through the baptismal waters in this church. We had grieved the loss of precious members and we had laughed and cried, sang and danced
sorry about that, we didn't dance....we are Baptist......I got carried away in the moment! Anyway.....you get the point....it was HARD to leave. We were welcomed with open arms at Carrollton Baptist Church and we grew to love the people there. We have had some wonderful times in this fellowship of Christians. I was so blessed to be a part of a biblestudy group for young women called "The Sisterchicks!" I grew to love those girls like they were mine. We have celebrated the birth of precious babies, we've grieved the death of beloved family members, the pain of divorce, and we have laughed like complete idiots at and with each other.....but more than anything else, we grew together in our love for our Lord. Tony and I have wonderful memories that we will carry with us forever. In the past couple of years, we both have had a spirit of unrest. We have talked about what to do, we have prayed about what to do.....we have ignored what we felt like we needed to do for fear of hurting those we love.....but if you have been in this walk with the Lord for very long, you know that He speaks to you in times of unrest. We had been diligently praying about what He would have us do. As much as we loved our Carrollton folks, we just really missed "home." We also worried that maybe you can't really "go home." We decided to go back for "Homecoming" the third Sunday in May, and suffice it to say, we felt like we had truly gone "home." We decided to go back the next Sunday, just to see if we still felt the same on a "regular" Sunday....and we did....maybe even more so. There are lots of new faces there and lots of the old faces are gone..........but it still has that sweet, sweet spirit, and we now know that you really can "go home"!! I don't know what God has planned for us, but I'm excited and looking forward to the ride!! Pray for us as we find our place in what God wants us to do.
I hope you will find your place in your body of believers this Sunday. There's just nothing quiet like worshipping our God in the fellowship of your brothers and sisters in Christ. Have a great and safe weekend.

Sad Times

I've debated about posting this issue, but decided that I would do it. What issue am I talking about? The issue of which I speak is the death of our old dog, Missy. Our beloved pet of 15 years went to doggy heaven one week ago today. For those of you who are not pet lovers, this seems very silly...but to those of you who are.........you know exactly how I feel. This was not some "high breed" dog, but one that was a mixture of chihuahua and fiest and who knows what else. She came to live with us when my kids were little. She was easily the kindest, sweetest dog.........ever!! She wasn't a barker ( until old dog aged senility took over)......she endured being dressed up like a baby doll and strapped in a doll umbrella stroller and being carried around by a rambunctious seven year old without even so much as a whine. She loved us, and we loved her. Before her old age took her hearing, a mere whisper of "let's go ride in the truck" would set her in a tail spin. The only thing she liked better than going for a ride was sitting with her "Daddy" at night and snacking while they watched t.v. This dog could hear you unwrapping a piece of cheese from anywhere in our house. She was the first indoor pet I've ever had and she just ingrained herself as a member of our family. She was never quiet herself if one of us was not in the nest at night. She would frequently wander around and sit posed looking at the door waiting for the "wayward" family member to return.....and might I say that she was always excited to see us....whether we had been gone all day or had just gone to the mailbox and back. I once heard a comedian talk about the fact that dogs have no sense of time, and she proved this to be true time and again. In the last couple of years, she hasn't been herself. Her hearing was gone, her vision clouded by cataracts.....she appeared to be lost much of the last few months. Arthritis had played ugly tricks on this once active and playful dog, rendering her unable to navigate across the room at times. She seemed to lose all her joy the last few weeks......I never saw that tail wag anymore. She seemed to be in pain much of the time and would even pull back from our handling her at times. As hard as it was, we had to make the decision to have her put to sleep. I kept praying that I would just come home and she would have just gone to sleep, but that didn't happen. So.....last Thursday, I took her to the vet and he took care of her. We brought her home and buried in the back yard under the pear tree. Not a day has gone by that I haven't looked for her as I walk in my house. I would have never believed that I could become so attached to a little critter...........but I did....and I have already done it again......TWICE!!!! Several months ago, in anticipation of what I knew was inevitable with Missy, we brought a new puppy in..........a teeny, tiny little chihuahua that we named "Trixie." About a month after we brought her home, baby girl moved back home with her little fiest mix dog "Effie." Needless to say, it is like "Dog" central station around here all of the time. But it is fun.....so fun! As I was mourning the loss of the "old" dog, I was chastising myself about the stupidity of letting myself get attached like this again..........but honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Pets just love us unconditionally....they love us when we aren't lovable. I've heard and read that people who have pets live longer and happier lives...........I hope that's true.....but regardless of this, I'm glad I've got my four legged babies. They sure make my life interesting!!
Hope you have a great...long and safe Memorial Day weekend!!

Long time no blog

I can't believe that it's been more than a month since I have been on this blog. So much water has gone under the bridge since then. We have celebrated the resurrection of our sweet Lord. We experienced the horrible tornadoes that swept through our area on April 27 causing so much devastation and destruction. These terrible storms will be felt for years to come. So many lost everything they had, and other's their very lives. We were so blessed to be spared. I don't understand why things like this happen..... but I do know that nothing comes to us until it has been filtered through God's hands. In the wake of all this devastation, it has been so heartwarming to see how people have rallied to help those affected. We need to continue to pray for those so horribly touched by these storms.
A couple of weeks ago I had the good fortune to get a free trip to the beach with my good friend Laura, her daughter Emily, and Emily's friend, Anna. It was 2 days of gorgeous sunshine, fresh salt air, clear aqua blue water, and white sandy beaches.....not to mention good "girl" talk, lots of junk food, tons of laughter, and awesome seafood!! It was a great trip with some great girls. I am so blessed to have some wonderful girl friends. Friends that love you when you are not lovable.....friends that
love you even when you snore...friends that love you enough not to let you stay in the pit that you might be wallowing in. There are so many things that I love about being a woman, and one of the biggest things, is that we can have the friendships that we do with other women. I just can't imagine what my life would be like without my "girlfriends"!!
Last Saturday, I got to be with my mom at her 50 year class reunion. It was fun to watch all her classmates mix and mingle...women giggling like school girls....men telling tall tales.....just watching as they shared school memories and caught up on yesteryear......and then my sweet man, babygirl, and I went to homecoming at our old church on Sunday. We had a great time of food and fellowship.....not to mention some mighty fine preaching and good ole southern gospel music.....it felt like "coming home." This is the place where we, as young adults, came back to Jesus.....it is the place where we watched our precious children walk the aisle and profess their faith in Jesus Christ.....it is the place where we forged lifetime friendships with people we view more as family than friends.
I am going to make a real effort to be more diligent with my blogging. In the meantime.........have a good week!!! Life is good.....enjoy it!!