Death

I have been thinking a lot about death for several days. While this seems like a morbid subject, it is “real life.” The recent unexpected death of Tony’s aunt has really put this at the front of my mind. While to me a mere 63 years doesn’t seem like enough time for this wonderful woman to have been here on earth, tonight she is truly at home and celebrating Christmas in a whole new way this year. I’ve felt so much sadness for her husband, her son and daughter in law, and her precious grandbaby girls!! But at the same time, I realize that I have witnessed a life well lived. While I wouldn’t ask her to come back for anything, I know that our family get togethers will never be the same….she was the life of the party!! I have experienced some loss in my life……my grandparents, my step dad, cousins who died much too young, friends and coworkers, and my only nephew. I have sat with others who were grieving the loss of someone close to them…..I’ve watched mothers bury their children at much too young an age. I hate death!!! I hate it!!! I hate the way that it tears families apart…..I hate the way it leaves people ragged and struggling to breathe…….I hate the way that it causes every special occasion to have a dark cloud over it….I hate how it often leaves us feeling regret……regret at things said or unsaid……regret that we didn’t do some things we should have done. I hate seeing people hurting and knowing that there is nothing I can say or do that will help that pain. I just hate death!! I know that death is as much a part of life as birth……but it hurts so much and leaves such a void! Even at my age, I struggle with understanding at how God works…..why does He take such good people?!? Why does He take children? But you know the truth of it? No matter how much time we have with our loved ones, we will always wish for more time……God in His infinite wisdom knows best. He knows our hearts and our hurt. He who gave His only son for the likes of me….If our loved ones are His then it is just our own selfishness that wants to keep them here. Clearly, we can’t comprehend what awaits all of us when we take our last earthly breath and that first heavenly breath with Jesus!! If we could, we might try to hurry things along…..as it is, we just know the here and the now. If life is good for us, we want more years of the same……but if we think this life is good…….ohhhhh…. what we have to look forward to in heaven!!!! You know death is something we will all face at some point if Jesus tarrys . I want my life to be a life well lived. I want to love those that He gave me to love and I want to do the things He would have me to do with my life. I want to point people to Jesus!!! I remember 30 plus years ago when my sweet Papa Bonner died. What I remember about that is the grief that I felt…..I must say that my walk with the Lord wasn’t what it should have been and I remember feeling so irritated with the preacher that preached his funeral. He said less to soothe my heart than I thought he could have, and he preached a stern “invitation”! I was really ticked off about this. In my immaturity, I felt that wasn’t the time for that. All these years later, I realize what better time to extend an invitation to come to Jesus than at the death of someone we love. We tend to live our lives like this is all we are ever going to get…….we are so wrong in that. If I want to see my Christian loved ones again, I have to come to Jesus…..you have to come to Jesus! It’s such a simple thing!! I am so thankful for the chance to age and hopefully grow wiser!! As a child of the most high God……it’s a win/win situation!! As Christmas comes around every year on December 25th…….and we celebrate the birth of this precious baby Jesus…..we need to keep in mind that this is not all there is……if it hadn’t been for the death and resurrection of that same precious baby we would have no hope!!! While I may never feel anything but hate for death, I can also view it as the reward for the believer!!! I want to be sure that I Iive this life to the fullest using every opportunity that the Lord gives me to glorify Him!! Am I gonna fail .....absolutely……but you know what?!?! I’m gonna get back up and go again and I will do it because I serve a God that can do what I can’t!!! Praise You Lord!! As I close this blog for today.....I just want to say I love you Sheila Dickey......thanks for the memories!!!