Rose Colored Glasses
Years ago someone very close to me once ( or actually several times) said that I viewed life through "Rose Colored Glasses." While that may have been true then, I have found that sometimes life needs a little help to look better than the hard realities that we face day in and day out. I have discovered over the years that we all need encouragement that we are not in this alone. We only get to live this life once and I want my life , imperfect that it is, to be an encouragement for those around me. Do I get it right every single day?!?........."Absolutely not!!!!" But "His mercies are new every morning," and for that I am eternally grateful and forever hopeful "rose colored glasses" and all.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The past couple of weeks have brought some changes to our lives here on our little hill in the woods. Good changes, but changes none the less. First change is: First born and son in law have interviewed and will possibly take a church at least a couple hours farther away than they are now. While I knew with them being in ministry, there would always be the possiblity that they would live far away......I don't think I really camped out on the idea. I just know that if this is God's will for them, He will make it okay for me and son in law's precious Mama. No two mama's have ever loved their children anymore than we do. Having them 12 hours away for the past five years has not been for the faint of heart. I think we've done pretty well in our adjustment, but there are still times when I just have to get my hands on that child for just a little while. I miss her more than words can say, but I know she is where she is supposed to be......and I have every confidence that the Lord will provide!! Second change is that baby girl is engaged!!! She went to the beach on Saturday with her sweet boyfriend and his family.......and he surprised her with a proposal (and might I say, I right nice piece of jewelry) beachside on Sunday afternoon. So, wedding planning is in our future around here. I know my sweet man is thanking God that he only has two daughters right now! Baby girl starts nursing school in two weeks, so it may get really interesting around here in the next 10 to 12 months. I am thankful for so many things in my life and one of them is being a mama to these two magnificent creatures. I do have to admit that on more than one occasion, I have tried to find out where a mother can go to resign from this "blessing" as I have been fairly certain that being a mother was going to kill me...literally!! I have experienced some dark days in these twenty eight years( with most of those being the wonderful "teenage years") and I have on occasion felt the same feeling that was expressed by the famous Bill Cosby when he spoke of the joys of parenthood...saying,"I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!!!!" More days than not, I am very glad I let them live!! It is wonderful to see your kids grown, happy, and making good choices. It has been a wild ride, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!! I love you Jessie and Jodi.............I'm looking forward to the days, weeks and months ahead with you girls!!!! I'm so proud of you...... and for you!!!xoxoxoxo Mama
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Happy Birthday, my sweet Jessie. Twenty eight years ago we prepared for the greatest life change we would ever know. At the ripe old age of 21, I was sure I had this "mama" thing nailed down. I was well read in the baby care and "raising" department. I had at least one full semester of child growth and development under my belt..I had babysat a few times.....I was fairly certain that I was gonna be the poster child for motherhood. I did have a little fear of the pain involved......but I had that planned out as well. I knew about natural childbirth, but was pretty sure that this was for women who weren't as enlightened as I was.......and me being the brilliant nurse that I was and also being the biggest wimp I could think of.....I knew that the epidural would be my best friend!! My control freakish ways started very early in my life. Our plan had been to get through nursing school, get a job, pass my boards and get pregnant. We accomplished this right on schedule. We were so excited about having a baby. We got your room and little sweet, unisex, baby things together in the classic pale green and yellow colors. I washed and had all those little baby clothes smelling like Ivory Snow ,and looking so organized in your chest of drawers. We had the baby bed and cradle ready to lay our sweet bundle in. And then the literal bottom fell out. We found out that the house we were renting had been sold, and we had to find somewhere else to live. So.....the week prior to your arrival, we found another place to rent and we spent that week getting ready to move. The house we found was less than clean, to say the least...... and germaphobe that I am, we had to do some harddown cleaning. We also made one false hospital run during this week in the midst of all the other craziness. I was fairly certain that I was going to have my baby in the middle of highway 82 in the Sipsey swamp area. Had I known what I learned after 18 long hours of labor, I wouldn't have stressed so much about the Sipsey thing!! Thanks to some wonderful friends and family, we started the moving process the day before you were born. We were in the middle of moving loads of stuff when I decided that I was in labor. I know that your poor granny Gail would have probably liked to kill me off about that time. Picture this poor, pathetic humongous pregnant woman walking around doing little of nothing and bawling the whole day for no apparent reason......now picture that in the 100 degree heat that we enjoy in Alabama in July..........and we have a window unit air condtioner. Need I say that it was not a pretty sight. On the eve of your birth, your daddy and I loaded up and, with granny and aunt Tammy close behind, we headed to DCH. I wasn't in labor, but they decided to keep me overnight since we lived so far away. Finally about 5:00 the next morning, my contractions worsened and I was finally in true labor. It's funny now to look back about being so anxious to be in labor, and then hardly being able to wait to be finished with it. We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl.....and though I had always said I wanted boys ( I knew what teenage girls were like, and didn't think this was something I wanted to sign up for!) honestly, it didn't really matter to me.....I just wanted a baby. When you finally made your long anticipated arrival at 11:04 p.m. that Thursday night.........we were beyond thrilled!!! You were the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. Ten fingers, ten toes, wrinkled and pink, very little hair.......but oh my goodness....you rivaled any princess every born. The next morning after all the commotion had died down and there was nobody there but you, and daddy, and me.........we unwrapped you and checked you out. You were absolutely perfect!!!! Nine long months of hope and anticipation was beyond anything I can describe. This child that we wanted so much was finally here. On that day, you forever changed our world for the better. I had no idea that I could love anything or anyone so much. I loved watching you sleep, and hearing all those sweet little baby grunts and sighs. I even loved the way your eyes would scrunch up tight when you were crying. I loved your smell.....I would bury my nose up in your little neck and just breath in your sweet scent. My poor attempt to describe to you just what you meant to us 28 years ago, and now 28 years later is very inadequate. You have been such a delight to us. Your passion for life and compassion for others certainly make a mama proud. You have always been wise beyond your years, understanding things that you really shouldn't have been able to understand. You are truly a magnificent creature.......God did really good when He formed you in the secret place. You are beautiful and smart and so much fun!! On this, your 28th birthday, I wish you every happiness in the world!!! Enjoy your special day......you are very much loved!!!!XOXOXOXOX Mama